Category Archives: Bates Solicitors

5 Negative Realities When Divorcing With Children

By: banjo d

As I’m writing this article, I am divorcing with two children, so I want to share these negative realities of the situation, in order for you to be prepared and develop strategies to overcome them successfully. Divorce solicitors like Bates can help you out if you’re in the same situation.

1. Children are less resilient than we think

When you are a divorcing parent, many people tell you that “children are resilient”, so you shouldn’t worry too much about them. Actually this is not true at all. Children aren’t your extensions. They are human beings with their own feelings and emotions, so you can’t expect them to feel better about your divorce solely because you started to feel better and make peace with your new status. Children may have troubles in comprehending why their parents took such a radical decision in the first place. Some kids feel guilty and responsible for their parents’ actions and behaviors, therefore they become emotionally unstable or depressed. You may be fine with the fact that divorce is the best solution for the two of you, but your children have their own perception of the reality, which isn’t necessarily identical with yours.

It is very important that children are part of this process. They need to integrate the facts into their conscious mind, so that they can make peace with themselves. You need to talk openly about your divorce if you want your kids to understand it and get a vision of how their new life is going to be. It is a major change that might trigger grief and sorrow until it is fully processed and accepted by the young mind of a child. Explain your children what is happening and let them heal by themselves, with your support, of course. Don’t rush them, the healing process takes years sometimes, so be prepared and ready to help your kids if they need it.

2. Flipping out is common, even if it is only temporary.

Divorce is a major event in one’s life. It may trigger depression, addictions or even physical jeopardy in some cases. Such things can happen to any of the involved parties. The other spouse may have a hard time to understand this situation, especially if he or she is the one who asked for the divorce. The left spouse will feel desperate and abandoned, vengeful or terrified by the perspective of living the life alone from that moment on. No matter how hard it may be, both spouses need to understand their behavior has a major influence on their children, therefore they should temper their behavior and try to make the whole thing a civilized one. Empathy and patience are very important. At the end of the day, both spouses still love their children, despite the fact that they decided they don’t want to live together anymore. The well-being of their kids should be a priority for both parents.

3. Not all problems disappear after a divorce with children.

If you have children, you are going to be their parent for the rest of your life, even if you divorce your spouse. This may lead to unpleasant situations, as both of you will need to go on with your parenting duties and responsibilities. When a family breaks up, there are many questions that arise, questions regarding their prior agreements and about the best parenting methods and techniques. Moreover, financial problems may also become urgent, as there might not be enough money for properly taking care of two households.

Divorce occurs because of problems inside the family, but once it takes place, it generates new problems ex-spouses have to face. Children are in the middle of this tormenting situation, so they are the most exposed ones in the entire process. This is why both parents need to be adults and overcome their personal feelings in order to be able to offer a secure home to their offspring. Freedom after a divorce with children doesn’t come for free. There is a toll both spouses have to pay if they want their kids to suffer less and heal completely.

4. Divorce is a failure.

A divorce is always a failure. All marriages start as a lifetime commitment to stay together, to love and support each other until death do you part. Since you get a divorce, it means you failed in abiding to your commitment. Failures happen, we all have our share of them. The important fact is to be able to recognize them as failures and learn the lessons. This is what makes us wiser, so that we can do things better the next time. If we understand what went wrong and why we failed, we have more chances to improve. If we deny the evidence, we don’t grow. That’s how it happens that some people divorce even five or six times in a lifetime. They never learn, as they don’t accept the divorce as a failure. They seek for excuses, so they don’t have any reason to change anything in their own behavior.

5. Eat, Pray, Love is only a book, not the real life.

It’s definitely easier to get over a divorce when you are rich. However, not even rich people can afford to leave their kids and go on a pilgrimage around the world in order to heal their wounds faster. If you have children, you have responsibilities towards them. This situation doesn’t cease with the occasion of the divorce. You divorce your spouse, not your children. This is why you can’t simply disappear for one or two years as if nothing has happened. You need to live with your pain and go through the healing process while still doing your job as a parent. Life after a divorce is a struggle, but you must find ways to overcome it locally, you need to find the strength to manage your emotions and to be strong. Your kids need you more than ever, so you can’t afford to be weak if you care about their future.

Business Issues Taken To Court

By: David

Business disputes are always a problem, as nobody really wants to get to court. However, if amiable resolutions aren’t possible, the only way to dispute your business problems remains the courtroom. Litigation is one of the most difficult decisions, so you should ponder all cons and pros very well before taking your problems to court. Divorce specialists Bates Solicitors can help you if you’re ever in this situation.

When Negotiations Fail

Going to court is always the last solution, chosen only after everything else failed. Most business owners and managers try to resolve their business disputes the painless way. Some of them are successful, but there are situations in which nothing works, so they need to resort to this last choice, taking their problems to court. However, you have to be aware that litigation in business circles is always something tricky, so you’d better have a very strong case, with hard evidence, otherwise you risk to fail. This is why, it is strongly advisable to have a written record of all communication with your business partners, even from the moment of the slightest suspicion that you might end up in court. Even if your worries prove to be in vain, it’s better to be prepared for the worst. A court case involves a lot of effort, so you need to be sure you are going to win it.

It’s also worth pointing out that if you win your case, the other part has to pay some of your legal costs, but they won’t pay for all your expenses. It is possible that they don’t have enough resources to pay you. Perhaps they went out of business since you sued them, so you are never going to see your money back. Additionally, you have to keep in mind that in case you lose your trial, you are going to need to pay the legal expenses made by the other side.

Making Or Defending Your Case

As soon as you decide the court is the only way to go, you have to start preparing your case. Hiring a good lawyer is a must, if you have to increase your odds to win the trial. Lawyers know very well how to make their cases in order to increase their chances to win. Additionally, an attorney can help you through all the stages of this process. After you’ve made your case, you have to submit a claim to your local court. The details of this claim are going to be sent to the defendant. If the defendant admits the liability or agrees to a settlement, you can consider yourself a winner. Nonetheless, it is possible that the defendant disputes the claim, so you should always be prepared for this situation.

If the defendant chooses to dispute your claim, your case is sent to a court that handles that type of claims. There are small claim courts, handling cases up to £10,000 and bigger courts that handle large claims. The court is going to schedule everything and inform you and the defendant about all hearings and other information you need to know regarding the times when you have to present your evidence or other documents. If you miss your deadlines, it is possible that you lose the right to continue the claim, so you should take it very seriously, even if you have to postpone other things to proceed with your claim.

Both you and the defendant are going to have your chance to make your case. The attorney of law is very important, as he can help you win by presenting your case in the most favorable light. The one of you who loses has to pay the legal costs. If you don’t agree with the decision made by the court, you can appeal against it, but this is going to cost you even more time and money.